More on Marriage - sex myths?

Here's the thing: when I grow up I want to be a sex therapist.  I wrote my college thesis about the Puritan roots of our culture; in my mind, Americans are very uptight about sex.  So I recently saw this little 'article' and loved it:

http://healthyliving.msn.com/health-wellness/men/sex/six-myths-about-healthy-sex

It amazed me that these are all 'myths' about sex!  Do people generally believe that everyone is living in a porn movie/harlequin romance novel?  Sex is no different from anything else in a marriage.  It is like a conversation, a party, an afternoon: sometimes it is easy and fun, and sometimes its more work.  And, like everything else in a relationship, if you don't put the time in its not as good.  But also like all things in marriage if you approach it with love, honesty, a sense of humor, and a genuine desire to make your partner happy, it is better than anything else.

I've heard women say that they are generally just too tired to invest in their sex life.  I have 4 children, a job, a giant family, a baby who gets up twice a night...believe me, I understand about tired. But there is nothing more tiring than a marriage that isn't working.  Truly, that must be the most exhausting thing of all.

I remember talking once to a group of moms.  We were all in our early 30's (at the time) and the other gals were saying that they rarely had sex.  All they wanted at the end of each day was 'me' time.  I was so confused!  Why, for heavens sake, is sex not considered 'me' time?  They explained that their husbands didn't really know what they wanted, foreplay was lacking etc.  So I made them a bet.  I suggested that they each go home and, after the kids were asleep, approached their husbands and ask them for exactly what they wanted in bed. I bet them that their husbands would be truly delighted to comply.

It was not long after that my husband and I were at a cocktail party and a couple of husbands approached me and thanked me!  I'm not joking.  My husband was laughing, wondering what the heck I had been telling these wives!

So my 2 cents today is to invest with love and an open-heart in your sex life.  Don't use fatigue as an excuse.  Ask honestly for what you want.  Enjoy!