I call BS on 'mommy-guilt', Part I

Here's the thing: if you work at a regular out-of-the-house job, some days you are going to sit at your desk and imagine another, better job.  Maybe you get a link from a friend with a job listing in your favorite city, or see a job listing that doesn't include some of your most hated tasks.  And you think, "Hey, why don't I work there?!" And then you go back to work.  And its not a big deal.

But when you are a full-time at-home mom, if you have a day where you think, "Hey, maybe I should have a different job, " it's as if you are saying, "Maybe I don't really love my family and children." It's kind of horrifying and shameful.  And I'm here to call bullshit.

First of all, moms who work outside the home love their kids and families.  So if you consider that you might want to do that, it doesn't mean you don't love yours.

Second of all, like anything else, some days are better than others.  I mean believe me I have moments (cleaning up a dead bat while my husband is away after a night up with a crying baby and an explosive poopy diaper, a clogged toilet, and a 7:30 AM drop off time for 3 kids comes to mind) where I think, "Huh.  Is THIS why I went to graduate school?  Good thing I bothered with that Ivy League degree." And then I go back to disinfecting the floor so the baby doesn't happen across a dead bat body part and put it in his mouth.

Third of all, the key to personal freedom is being with what is.  So if today is a day where you feel unsettled, let it be.  It will probably pass, or it may galvanize some change.  Maybe it will inspire you to do something new and different, who knows.  The point is, it is what is happening today.  And whatever you choose to do with it, you will do.  There is no need to burden any of it with this disgusting thing people call mommy-guilt.

I find it pretty annoying that someone even came up with that moniker.  Guilt in general is unproductive and toxic and when you tie anything to being a mom, there is something very laden and sexist about it.  Leave your guilt out of my mothering, ok people?

Well, thats my shout out, at-home sisters.  Love your job or don't, but don't beat yourself up about it either way.  And remember, as my very wise husband says: they can't all be winners.  Some days are crappier than others.  And some days are truly blissful.  Enjoy them both for what they are.

My Mantra

About a year ago, I started coming up with a mantra for each week.  It would be a simple thought and I would keep it at the front of my mind throughout the week.  It would help keep me focused on my practice of mindfulness.  Here is a sample of some of the things I used:

Only kindness matters
Love is everything
Be here now
Shoulders back, deep breath

Then about a month ago I was listening to a guided meditation and a line from it stuck in my head:

The only source of happiness is the flow of love.

It has become my mantra week after week. It connects with so much of what I believe about the Universe, and about my job here. Try saying it to yourself when you feel angry, or frustrated, or unfulfilled.  Choose happiness in those moments by connecting with the flow of love, instead of choosing unhappiness by analyzing and validating your own emotions. Step outside of the hamster wheel of the human brain, and open yourself up to the Universal flow of positive energy.  It is there.