Forget about guilt as a part of mothering. It is totally at cross purposes with the job of mothering. Send it off to hell with its evil brother, worry. Let the ground open up and swallow them both, because there is no room for them here.
Here is the job as I see it (as I see it TODAY - I reserve the right to see it completely differently tomorrow):
1) Connect with Love, and find a way to share that love with your children. Teach them what it feels like to be loved, and how to love.
2) Help them find out what it means to be them, and let them know that who they are is WONDERFUL - flaws and all.
3) Show them that failure is not the end, it is a necessary and healthy part of their journey.
4) Teach them to sit in silence sometimes, and to stretch their bodies sometimes.
5) Teach them that it is ok to let go of people who make them feel crappy about themselves.
6) Cherish them, and stop what you are doing to listen when they say, "It's important."
7) Hug them, kiss them, and snuggle them, even when they are no longer tiny sweet smelling cherubs. Hug them, kiss them, and snuggle them, especially when they are surly, pimply and awkward.
8) Support their choices. Find a way to say, "Yes."
9) And when you have to say no, really really mean it. Show them that you are bigger than their fears, and you can handle their anger. They are safe in your care.
NOTHING in this job is done better or with a clearer heart if you indulge your own fears that you, yourself, are not up to the task. Reject the small voice inside you that suggests you might suck. If you do not, your children will inherit it. Enjoy mothering, don't let it drag you under. Find the joy.
