My wise older sister, Annika, says that one of the most powerful things she has to offer her kids is her instincts so if she doesn't follow her instinct, she is failing her kids (In this instance, the words 'instinct' and 'intuition' are interchangable). I think she is totally right about this. So, the parenting challenge is to figure out the difference between INSTINCT and FEAR. Letting fear determine the path of any project or relationship is a terrible idea, and I think in parenting it is a mission critical issue.
How do we develop the ability to tell the difference between instinct and fear? My conclusion has been that if I can exercise my instinct in other areas, and develop my ability to feel it in general, then it will be easier to identify when I really need it. Do you have any ideas about how to do this? I would love to hear them.
http://zenhabits.net/big-rocks-first-double-your-productivity-this-week/
I absolutely agree about following your instincts but think fear should play a role because it protects your children. The goal would be that they grow up without unnatural fears of their environment but that they also understand the dangers out there. It is that age old question about how close do I put my child’s hand to the fire to show him there is danger without either burning him or creating unnecessary fear of something he will one day need to be capable of managing. If one has a great fear of fire it is hard not to pass that on…that is your instinct, and in fact fire can be dangerous. The fear is real...but is it reasonable? Rather than focusing on exercising your instinct, I would think it is more productive to try to understand your own fears and figure out which ones are helpful and which ones are not reasonable….so you can recognize them when they surface in relation to your children….by the way I think you do a great job at that.
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