I have observed women feel comfortable saying, and doing, things to their partner that they would find completely unacceptable from their male spouse. So, for example, I have heard women literally roll their eyes in exasperation at their husband’s sexual overtures. Or say, “Oh my gosh, I could never leave him in charge of the kids ALL WEEKEND!” Ha ha.
It seems in some circles that it is amusing and totally acceptable for wives to treat their husbands as if their needs, desire for intimacy, and ability to parent, are all completely dismissible. I, for one, cannot imagine how painful it would be to live with that attitude from my spouse; my heart would break. Luckily, it seems that it takes men a lot longer to reach their emotional breaking point than it would take me, however, I cannot imagine this does not damage the power of the connection between spouses.
One of my deeply held beliefs is that marriage is a moral undertaking, and that through our commitment to that relationship, we can come to be in closer relationship with the Universal. When we use words or take actions that are damaging to the soul of our partner, we undermine the possibility that we may reach a higher state through that relationship. In other words:
marriage + kindness and respect= a closer relationship with the Universal
marriage + a dismissive and demeaning attitude = the abandonment of the moral aspect of the commitment = no chance to come to know the Universal through marriage
I know relationships are complicated and varied. Really, I do. It isn’t easy or painless to practice being in relationship in a way that reflects our best integrity. It is hard and scary work.
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