This is my 3rd 6-year-old, and lemme tell you, it is a tough age for me! I don't know what the deal is, but I find 6 endearing, sweet, intelligent and INFURIATING! So it gives me a daily opportunity to practice managing anger and frustration. It also challenges my mothering creativity. I want this 6-year-old to feel that he is cherished, loved, and valued. No one feels that way when they also feel they are infuriating! So each day I practice, practice, practice. I also take time each morning to set my intention with him:
Today I will show this child that he brings me joy, that he is loved, and that his energy is enjoyed by his family. Today I will hug and snuggle him and show him how glad I am that he is here with me. Today I will observe my anger and impatience, and will pause rather than let them control me. I am bigger than my worst reactions and with love, I will observe them, and let them go.
I also suspended our usual point system for this child. It wasn't really giving him any help. Instead I gave him a simpler system. He gets a strike when he resists our normal routine (refusing to come to the table, refusing to clear his plate, refusing to put on his coat, refusing to come upstairs for bed, screaming and running around during dinner etc.) Any good behavior results in a loss of a strike. His goal is to go to bed with no strikes, and to leave for school with no strikes. 3 strikes and he gets a time out.
So far, he has found this to be very engaging and exciting. He loves seeing me mark down the 'strike free' successes! He is also awaiting what the 'prize' will be for all the positive marks.
How do you handle it when one child is suddenly very challenging? Is there an age that you consistently find difficult?
