Another Parenting 'Big Rock'

My wise older sister, Annika, says that one of the most powerful things she has to offer her kids is her instincts so if she doesn't follow her instinct, she is failing her kids (In this instance, the words 'instinct' and 'intuition' are interchangable). I think she is totally right about this. So, the parenting challenge is to figure out the difference between INSTINCT and FEAR. Letting fear determine the path of any project or relationship is a terrible idea, and I think in parenting it is a mission critical issue.

How do we develop the ability to tell the difference between instinct and fear? My conclusion has been that if I can exercise my instinct in other areas, and develop my ability to feel it in general, then it will be easier to identify when I really need it. Do you have any ideas about how to do this? I would love to hear them.

PS: If you don't get the 'big rock' reference, check out this author's summary of the idea made popular by Stephen Covey:

http://zenhabits.net/big-rocks-first-double-your-productivity-this-week/

Finding Faith

There is that saying that for some people faith is like walking across a river. The image is meant to be one of crossing over - one day you don't have faith, and the next you walk on the shores of faith, and that is that. Others (was it Kierkegaard?) claim that 'faith is the work of a lifetime' (I'm sure Nathan can correct me on that one). For me, there were years when I wasn't even sure what 'faith' was referring to - faith in what?

Then one day I looked at Chris as we grappled with a tough decision. It may have been something about whether to move back to the US or to stay in the UK. I looked at Chris as we balanced our shared desires for our life together and it hit me: as hard as this journey can sometimes be, this would be so much harder if I were I paired with someone else. It would be pure hubris to continue to believe that it was through my infinite wisdom that I made the choice to marry him. In fact, looking back at our meeting at age 14 and his unwavering presence in my life, it was almost laughable that I hadn't seen it before: my relationship with Chris and the love we share was a gift for us from the Universe for this journey, this life.

In that moment, because of my relationship with my husband, I came to believe in a higher power, or, in my lexicon, the Universal.

So, thanks to marriage, I crossed the river.

I think there are many paths in life towards an experience of the Universal. And. as described by Marcus Borj in his book (I don't know how to underline in this program!) "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time," that moment of accessing the Universal is a sensation of parting the curtain and seeing reality from another (truer) perspective. Then, for most of us, the curtain drops. For some that moment is transformative. (Borj argues that every now and then in history there is someone, like Jesus, who never drops the curtain.)

I know there are other means to access that curtain-lifted sensation. Meditation? Chanting? Childbirth? What do you think? Have you had a moment where you have a sensation of accessing knowledge of the Universal?